Acceptance - what does this truly mean?

This is a question that I am often asked – and something I have had to explore for myself - again and again!


Ans.  Acceptance in my view is simply experiencing what is, simply as it is.  Or in other words – seeing/experiencing yourself at point 'A', where you are. This may not be where you want to be, it may not be what you like! But it is where you are.  By accepting 'this is it' - this is what is right now – then you might have insightful clarity about your situation or experience. For example, if you are in a conflict or in a circumstance that you are finding unpleasant, it might be that you realise this is really not what you want and you see how you have helped to co-create this situation.  It might have been your actions (or sometimes non-action) or beliefs (conscious or unconscious) that led you to this very moment. The simple acceptance to see yourself and the situation can give natural space to have a depth of understanding and insight and perhaps to see for yourself what next step might be appropriate – which may not be what you 'think’.

One example that I have from my own life was in a relationship situation where I was experiencing emotions and the circumstances as unpleasant. I did not want to have this unpleasantness any more! But attempting to 'think' my way out, or to make the circumstances or other people different did not work (I did try!!).  By reminding myself ‘ok this is it', and by supporting my mind to stop fighting and trying to 'find a solution' or 'blame', I was able to find a depth of my own truth. I was able to see clearly that my wanting of love from this person had meant I had compromised, not been honest, and was a big contributing factor to the current situation. Instead of being honest with myself I had overridden my own truths, often small ones, and this had built up into a situation that was now 'unpleasant’. In this experience of acceptance I was able to see another level of my truth – here now – and allow my life to start again. And make different choices. The unpleasant experience now is in the past and my experience of the entire circumstances changed simply with my seeing myself more clearly. Acceptance does not mean you have to 'put up with' the situation. It simply means to see/experience the situation as it is. From this 'seeing' you can have clarity on the next choice points in your life. Wishing you insightful acceptances!  With love, Kira